This week we discussed "Discipline- Who Needs It?"
Nancy led us in a great discussion pointing out scriptures and books that were relevant to raising obedient children. The main book she used was from James Dobson's Dare to Discipline,
Dobson says, "Multiplying is more than producing children. It's also producing faith in children."
We want our kids to have faith, and to have their own faith, not the faith of their parents or grandparents. This is a faith they must find for themselves.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 talks about the statutes and rules that God commanded us to teach our kids.
Verses 5-9 say, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might..You shall teach [these words] diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house...You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."
These are words that we can't pass on unless we have them in our hearts ourselves. How true that is! I want my kids to have God's word hidden in their hearts so that when they are faced with trials or temptations or something they don't understand, they'll have scripture to turn to. I can't depend on the church leaders to teach my kids everything because they're only at church a couple of hours a week. I'm with them all day long. I am the best teacher my kids have. How am I going to to lead? What am I going to teach them? What do I want them to learn?
Another key point Dobson makes is "Love and obedience are the closest of friends. And God's design for parents is a loving obedient relationship with their children."
John 14:15 says, "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." We want our kids to obey God. This begins with us teaching discipline to our kids so they can know how to obey. Then when it's time to obey God, they know how to do it.
Proverbs 3: 11-12, "Do not despise the Lord's instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline; for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father, the son he delights in."
Discipline is such a hard thing sometimes. I see myself being more laid back as a parent and at times I wonder if I'm being to lax with disciplining. There are definite "no-no's" in the house and Jett is well aware of them. But I think there are times when he wants to do something and it's really not going to hurt either way if he does or doesn't. He's 3.5 years old. He's exploring and learning everyday. Time-out is enforced if certain lines are crossed. A pop on the bottom may happen if it's to correct a behavior that may be harmful to him or his sister. I'm still learning this "mom thing" too. I'm looking to others and scripture to see what is best for my kids. Advice comes in all forms. We must learn what works best for our us and for our kids.
Another thing Nancy shared was from Kay Arthur's book, A Marriage Without Regrets.
Arthur says there are 4 Greatest Gifts that we can give our children.
1. The gift of parents who love each other-(security, peace and joy). Marriage and the home it creates is a secure haven where a boy and girl can grow and develop into a healthy, strong individual. A greenhouse of sorts.
2. The gift of access to our time and attention (available, reachable, touchable and accessible)-children need you to parent them! They need you there to: talk to; wrestle and snuggle and tickle and play and laugh with; turn to when the days seem dark and hopeless; test theories, wild ideas, and crazy dreams; have enough energy and focus to make each child feel loved, cherished and special; share not just body, but heart and soul; kiss away the hurts, bandage the cuts, and speak comfort to the broken heart.
3. The gift of time: both quantity and quality-a nonrenewable resource. How wise we need to be in how we spend it. A brief 18 years.
4. The gift of lavish love (touch them, hold them, caress them… even if you weren't brought up this way.) If you have never had this modeled in your own life, ask God to lead you to someone who can teach you (Titus 2). Ask Him to show you the importance of your touch, our presence, your physical care, and your attention.
How true these words are! We have free gifts we can give our children all the time. They are so hungry for us. Mama! Mama! Mama! Come see! Come here! Watch this! Play with me! It's constant and it tell us that our kids need these free gifts we can give them.
I hope you're able to take away something from this post. There are TONS of resources out there we can use to "better ourselves" as parents. Nancy has lots of other books that I didn't even mention and would love to share titles with you if you're interested. Also, remember that our Mentor Moms will be front and center at the next meeting, so if you have other questions for them. Please let me or your table leader know so they can get the question to Michelle.