February 9th Meeting Recap

 Today was "Bring Your Hubby to MOPS day"!  We had a great turnout with many husbands joining us for our meeting focused on marriage.  I'm sure the promise of a delicious breakfast provided by the Purple Popsicle and Bluebonnet tables helped to convince them as well.  Thanks to Pastor Lindsay Sadler of First Baptist Church for opening our meeting and breakfast with prayer this morning.


Today's Announcements: 

• Congratulations to Dana U. on the birth of a baby girl, Margaret!  
• Our February Birthdays are Gayle T., Patricia F., Amber Y., and Dana U.
• If you signed up to get tickets for Veggie Tales Live!, please bring money for your tickets to our next meeting (February 23). Tickets are $14 per person. Money should be turned in to Kelly P.
• The Disney Princesses will be coming to John Paul Jones Arena in March.  Talk to Karen L. at the Bluebonnet table if you are interested in going as a group with other MOPS moms and daughters.

Next we had a game of Bingo to give away our On Time Save Time meal.  This meeting's lucky winner was Karen L. from the Pink Petunia table.

Five brave husbands played the Name That Couple game.  They were all winners, taking home a chocolate treat.  Hide it from your wives, guys!

Our special guests today were Kyle and Christine Hoover. Kyle is the pastor of Charlottesville Community Church. Christine is a writer and stay at home mom to their three children.  Today Kyle and Christine spoke about the three keys to a prosperous marriage: Time, Communication, and Conflict Resolution. 

Kyle began by telling how couples need to make an effort to spend adequate time together.  Husbands should ask their wives if they are happy with the amount of time spent together; chances are she would like more.  He also says that it is good for the kids if mom and dad get some regular quality time together without them.

He then gave husbands three areas to work on when it comes to time: everyday, weekly, and special times.  Everyday involves making the daily effort to show affection and appreciation.  Don't put it off for later!  Weekly means scheduling a regular time together, typically a "date night".  Get a babysitter or trade time with another couple and go out to dinner or get a cup of coffee.

Special times are those one or two times a year that you get away overnight (or hopefully longer!) as a couple.  Get the grandparents to watch your kids spend a few days together, just the two of you.

Next we heard from Christine, who wants wives to respond to our husbands when they offer to take us out.  Don't feel guilty leaving the kids for a time! 

Christine then moved to the next of the three keys: Communication.  Men and women communicate differently, with women seeking to connect and share, and men seeking results and goals.  Because of these differences, we have different needs.  Some things husbands should keep in mind:  your wife needs reassurance, and needs to hear that you love and appreciate her on a regular basis.  Think of watering a plant; you can't dump water on the plant once and expect it to thrive, it needs regular watering and care throughout its life!

Kyle offered us wisdom on communicating with men; they deeply desire respect.  He says that men would rather hear, "You are awesome!" from their wives than "I love you!".  They also want to be respected unconditionally, as women want to be loved unconditionally.  He wisely advised us to never talk badly about our husbands in public.  This can deeply wound a man and can ruin intimacy.  A good thing wives can do is ask their husbands how they can show him more respect.

Our final "key" is Conflict Resolution.  Good marriages have conflict, the key is knowing how to "fight well".  Here are ten guidelines offered by the Hoovers for conflict resolution:

1. Settle the problem the day it occurs
2. Make direct and specific statements; don't over-generalize (avoid always/never)
3. Attack the problem, not the person
4. Don't push "buttons" you know will increase conflict
5. Don't belittle, mock, or refuse to deal with an issue
6. Don't over-talk or dominate the conversation
7. Learn when to take a "time out" from resolving an issue
8. Talk to your partner as if you were in a crowded restaurant
9. Learn to truly forgive
10. Be willing to seek help if you are unable to resolve things on your own

Finally Kyle summed things up by leaving us with the following verse from scripture, 2 Corinthians 13:11:

"Finally, brethren, rejoice, be made complete, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you."

If you are interested in attending a Marriage class, the Hoover's Church will be having one on Monday evenings beginning March 13th. Contact Christine Hoover for more information.

Thanks for another wonderful meeting ladies, and thanks to all the wonderful husbands who attended!  See you at our next meeting on Thursday, February 23rd.